


A Grave Mistake

by emmanjay



Category: Hannibal (TV), The Big C (TV)
Genre: Alana is a bit out of character, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Cancer, Comedy, Drag Queen Jack Crawford, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Family, Hannibal Extended Universe, Hannibal is Not a Cannibal, Hannigram - Freeform, Jack is a dragqueen, Jack is out of character, Lies, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Power Play, Profanity, Professor!Hannibal, Public Sex, Rimming, The Big C - Freeform, hannigram AU, public bathroom sex, random idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2016-12-05
Packaged: 2018-08-14 13:57:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8016691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmanjay/pseuds/emmanjay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While visiting his deceased husband's grave, Hannibal is greeted by a nonchalant grave pisser, but what he doesn't know is that this is not the last time he will have an unexpected encounter with the man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impression

**Author's Note:**

> This is a completely random idea I had and I decided to go with it lol! I hope you all enjoy :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While visiting his deceased husband's grave, Hannibal is greeted by a nonchalant grave pisser, but what he doesn't know is that this is not the last time he will have an unexpected encounter with the man.

  


 

 

Hannibal swiped the sweat off of his brow before taking his sun hat off, using it to fan himself. He’d been working in the garden trying to pick the most beautiful flowers for Garret’s grave. He was visiting today. He tried not to visit too often because he didn’t want to turn into one of _those_ people who visited their dead spouse’s grave every single day of their lives. Those who spent their lives grieving on the dead instead of actually living their own life. Garret had died three years ago and it still felt like it was just yesterday. Hannibal even moved out of their old home because he could still see Garret everywhere. No, not his ghost lingering around on Earth caught in some sort of purgatory, but he could see Garret in everything he did.

 

When he’d wake up and go to bed, he’d see the curve of Garret’s body and feel the weight of the bed shift on the other side because the sheets still smelled like him. When he cooked in the kitchen, he saw the many meals they prepared together or he heard the countless conversations they had that either turned into passionate love making or bouts of angry screaming battles. And when he sat in the living room, he replayed the moment the doctor called, telling Garret he had stage four melanoma that had metastasized to his liver, kidney, and brain. There was nothing they could do but wait for him to die. The cancer was growing fast and the doctor gave him at most, two months.

 

Garret died three weeks later.

 

It was slow at first, then sudden. Hannibal noticed the dark shadow of The End cast upon Garret’s shoulder like a black dove. An omen. Garret started losing his memory; forgetting who Hannibal was...forgetting who Abigail was...until he finally forgot who he himself was.

His kidneys went next, so they had him on 24/7 dialysis. When his liver started to fail, they knew the end was near, but it didn’t mean that when Garret died on that cold day in November, two days before Thanksgiving, that it hurt any less.

 

Living in that house just became too much to handle. So he moved.

 

Abigail, their beautiful daughter, took it much easier than Hannibal did.  Without her strength, Hannibal couldn’t have gotten out of bed in the morning. But he remembered that he didn’t just lose his husband, she lost a father, and they both had to be strong. She was away at school, so she had more things to distract herself: exams, quizzes, friends, work. Hannibal had work too, but when Garret fell ill, Hannibal took a leave of absence from the university. He became a psychology professor at Winston Hall University when psychiatry didn’t fulfill him anymore. Work was mostly sexually repressed housewives who cared too much about making appearances than telling their husbands they weren’t having orgasms during intercourse. At least with teaching, there was something new almost everyday. Hannibal loved to urge class discussions about the ethical versus the non-ethical and delighted in the way some students pounced in on the discussion like lions capturing prey while others tried their best to slither away into the background, hoping not to be called on or noticed.

 

Hannibal was able to get a good chunk of money from the old house, so he was able to pay for the new house mortgage free. It was a simple craftsman style home with two bedrooms: the master and one for when Abigail came home from university or for when the in-laws paid a visit. The neighborhood was nice and the neighbors likewise.

 

It was spring time now, and the garden was growing lovely flowers. Garret and he always talked about having a garden, but neither of them thought they had a green thumb nor the patience to tend to one, but after Garret was gone, the garden turned into a coping mechanism, which then turned into a full-blown hobby. It began with just flowers. White geraniums in memory of Garret. Then orange gerberas because they had them at their wedding and they added a lovely pop of color to the house. Next, a rose bush because who doesn’t love fresh roses? When Hannibal received good results from his flowers, he decided to plant tomatoes. Buying organic was always an option, but he felt really determined to make his famous spaghetti sauce with fresh tomatoes from his own garden and it was exquisite. Eventually he began growing herbs such as thyme, basil, sage, and rosemary, using them in his day-to-day cooking.

 

Hannibal replaced his hat quickly and retrieved the bundle of flowers he picked when he heard the distant sound of the phone ringing from the inside of the house. He opened the back door and laid the flowers on the counter before removing his gardening glove and answering the phone.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hey Hannibal!”

 

Hannibal smiled when he heard the familiar voice. “Hello Alana, how are you?”

 

“I’m doing good, you?”

 

“I’m well.”

 

“That’s good to hear because I have good news for you.”

 

“Oh really? And what might that be?”

 

“You have a date this Saturday,” she said matter-of-factly.

 

“Alana -”

 

“Ah ah ah,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to hear it. Hannibal, you’re my friend and it is my duty to make sure you don’t become an old crotchety hermit. It’s been three years, you need to get back out there and stop gardening like an old lady.”

 

The professor sighed. “Alana, you know I hate blind dates, especially after I let you talk me into seeing that Frederick guy….”

 

“Okay, okay, Frederick was bad, but you’re going to like this one! Get this - he’s a freakin wine salesmen. His name’s Lee. He’s funny, he’s cute, _and_ he’s smart. He’s the full package! Plus, he’s friends with my cousin, so I know he’ll behave because he knows you will report everything back to me after your date.”

 

Hannibal sighed again and leaned back against the counter. “Fine. Have him meet me at _Benito's_. Seven o'clock.” He had to move the phone away from his ear for a moment so his eardrum didn't burst from the high pitched noise Alana made.

 

“Trust me Hannibal, you won't regret this! How about I hop over and we go to lunch so I can tell you more about Lee?”

 

“Sorry, can we get together tomorrow?”

 

“Aw, come on. Margot took Peter to his friend's house for a sleepover then she's going out with her old college buddies, so I'm all alone. The flower garden can wait Hannibal.”

 

“I’m not in the garden anymore, Alana.”

 

“Then what? What can be so important that you can’t hang out with your best friend? And don’t tell me it’s your students’ papers.”

 

Hannibal swallowed once and traced a finger on one of the gerbera petals. “I’m going to visit Garret’s grave today.”

 

A long silence ensued on the other end and Alana damned herself for being so... _insensitive_. ”Fuck...Hannibal, I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s alright. You didn’t know.”

 

“I can come with you if you want?”

 

“No, I’m a big boy and besides, I’d prefer it if I were alone.”

 

“I understand. But I’m free tomorrow so we can hang out then. Bye Hannibal.”

 

“Bye Alana.”

  


***

 

The ride to the cemetery was quiet. It always was. Even when Abigail would ride in the car with him, she wouldn't even suggest putting on the radio because what song do you listen do when you're going to see your father's grave? A sad, ballad perhaps? A kitschy pop song?

 

When he turned off of the back road and into the  Crawford cemetery parking lot, the familiar pressure filled his chest like a balloon two breaths away from being popped to pieces. He swallowed once to ease himself, hoping it would soothe the pressure deepening in his lungs; it didn't.

 

He looked over at the bundle of flowers he'd arranged in a nice presentation. On a usual day, he'd question why we humans did these ritualistic things. Burying our dead and spending thousands of dollars to make certain no creepy crawlies get to feast on their bodies, especially after we'd taken so much from the Earth, we have not the decency to give back what she has given. But it wasn't a usual day. So Hannibal allowed himself to mourn like many others. He grabbed the bundle and clutched it to his chest after parking the car. His slow footsteps quickly turned to eager sprints when he saw a man standing in front of Garret’s grave. When Hannibal got closer, he realized what the man was doing.

 

“What the hell are you doing?!”

 

The man turned back, hands still on his pissing member. “Don't worry man, this is my piece of shit father’s grave. Trust me, he deserves it.”

 

“That is not your father's grave! It's my husband's you jackass!” Hannibal pulled the man away from the grave plot, making him fall to the ground with his weiner exposed for the world to see.

 

Hannibal looked back at the gravestone, his body trembling in a mixture of anger and...and _disgust_.

 

“What are you talking about? Is this not the grave of Garrett Jacob Hobbs?” The man looked back at the gravestone being careful to read the whole name then the dark shadow of realization washed over him. His father's name had two T’s at the end of his first name and this man's gravestone had only one.

 

“Oh my God. This is the wrong grave. _Fuck_! This is the wrong grave!” The man reached into his pocket and took out a small piece of paper that looked like it'd been torn from a larger page. “Shit, I am so sorry. Wow...this is just one big misunderstanding,” the man said as he got on his feet, putting himself back into his pants. “But look on the bright side, I drank like a whole gallon of water before I came here so it shouldn't kill the flowers.”

 

Hannibal slowly turned to face the man. His lip twitched, nose flared, and his jaw clenched. “Leave!” Hannibal's voice rumbled in his chest and echoed through the air.

 

The man stood there wide eyed.

 

“Leave!” Hannibal screamed, angrier this time. “Leave before I call the cops!”

 

Once he saw the man take his distancing footsteps Hannibal turned around, facing the grave, and got on knees placing the flowers gently on a dry patch of earth that wasn’t soaked by that imbecile’s urine.

 

“ _Garret...I am so sorry…_ ”

 

***

 

“He was pissing on his grave?!”

 

“Yes! I couldn’t believe it! I should've called the cops!”

“I’m surprised you didn't kick his ass. Wow, to think I’ve heard it all. Damn. I’m sorry your visit didn’t go as planned. But maybe this date will help take your mind off of it.”

 

“Hopefully. To be honest Alana, I’m actually kind of excited for the date. From what you’ve said about him, he seems very interesting. What’s his name again?”

 

“Lee Fallon.”

 

“Ah. Lee Fallon.”

 

She heard typing sounds on the other end.

 

“Hannibal! Are you on the computer?”

 

“Perhaps…”

 

“Don’t go looking for him on Facebook. It’s called a blind date for a reason.”

 

Hannibal sighed and closed his laptop. “Fine, I guess I can wait.”

 

***

 

“Hello, welcome to Benito’s, my name is Freddie. Would you like to start off with a drink?” A fiery-haired waitress handed him a menu before taking out her little notepad and pen.

 

“I’m actually waiting for someone, so I’d like some sparkling water with a lemon wedge for now - no ice please.”

 

“Alright, I’ll be back with another menu and your sparkling water.”

 

As the waitress walked away, Hannibal kept his eye on the door wondering if every man who walked through the entrance was his blind date. Alana dropped her phone in the toilet before she left the house, so she cancelled their lunch date to go get a new one. Before the phone faux pas, Alana did inform Hannibal to bring a rose and place it on the table so Lee could find him once he arrived at the restaurant.

 

Many individuals walked through the door, most of them people with their dates or groups of friends out in the town. Then the unthinkable happened. The man that was at the cemetery the other day walked through the door and he was walking toward Hannibal's table.

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Hannibal could not believe it. The same man who had been pissing on Garret’s grave was the same man Alana had set him up with. What a cruel, sick joke the universe decided to play on him.  

 

“This is awkward,” Lee said.

 

“Awkward? You desecrated my husband’s grave!”

 

“To be fair, I thought it was my dead father’s grave. You know the saying: ‘it’s the thought that counts’.”

 

Hannibal furrowed his eyes in disbelief. “That doesn’t make sense in this situation - you know what? I’m leaving.” Hannibal began his way up from the table.

 

“Hey woah, wait up,” Lee called out as he grabbed onto Hannibal’s forearm. “Can I at least tell you the whole story? Please?”

 

Hannibal huffed out a breath but sat back down. “You have one minute.”

 

“Okay. My father was abusive. He hit my mother, brother, and me all the time. He wanted everything served to him on a silver platter and when he didn’t get what he wanted, he got angry, and when he got angry, he drank, and when he drank, he was a monster. Sometimes he kept us hostage, not even letting us kids go to school. My mom got the thick of it though. She tried to leave, but he always dragged her back in. Whether it was with his words or with his hands…”

“That’s terrible. I’m sorry that you and your family had to live that way. But one thing I don’t get is that my  husband’s name was Hobbs and your last name is Fallon, so how on earth did you get those names mixed up?”

 

Lee gave a nervous laugh. “When he died, we all changed to my mother’s maiden name. It was the last thing that kept him around, so we got rid of his name as soon as we could. Once his name was gone, we were free. Then when I moved back to Maryland, I tried not to go there because I knew it would bring back terrible memories, but I still did. And I just got so angry that I just... _let go_.”

 

“Yeah. You did. All over my dead husband.” Hannibal said, monotone and bitter.

 

“Again, I’m sorry about that...After the whole fiasco, I went looking for the actual grave and...when I got there...I _cried_. He of all people didn't deserve my tears but it just happened.”

 

Hannibal felt for the man even though he was still miffed about the whole thing.

 

“So yeah...” There was a long pause and its length was encroaching on awkward. “So,” Lee said, breaking the silence. “Now that we’ve got the sad and bitter life stories out of the way, can we actually have this date?”

 

Hannibal gave him a hesitant look.

 

“Look, I know what I did was unacceptable and probably unforgivable, but I’m a really nice guy when you get to know me. Plus, I think you’re really hot and I’d be a fool to let you walk out that door,” Lee simpered, feeling pleased with himself.

 

Hannibal sighed, playfully rolling his eyes. “Okay, I’ll stay. But only if you’re paying for dinner.” The corners of his mouth turned up. What could he say? The guy was smooth.

 

Lee laughed. “Okay okay, I guess that’s fair. So, what do you do?”

 

“I’m a psychology professor at Winston Hall University.”

 

“Oooh a professor, huh? I bet you have students begging to sleep with you for a better grade. I know I’d sure be on my knees if I had a professor that looked like you,” he said, gazing up through his eyelashes with a challenging smile creeping onto his lips.

 

“Wouldn't do you any good,” Hannibal replied, taking a sip from his glass. “Because every good grade in my class is earned through hard work and paying attention to my lectures.”

 

“Ugh, the word _lectures_ makes my skin itch,” Lee said, wiggling his shoulders in a cringing shrug.

 

“I take it you didn’t have a very good college experience?”

 

“Nope - too boring. And I didn’t have a single fuckable professor either.”

 

“Too bad. I believe you would enjoy one of my _Lecter Lectures_.” Hannibal grinned, stifling his laughter by biting his bottom lip with sharp teeth.

 

Lee couldn’t hide the amusement in his eyes. “I bet you became a professor just so you could say Lecter Lectures over and over, didn’t you?”

 

“It was a motivating factor, yes.”

 

They shared a laugh together and any tension that lingered in the air was now gone.

 

“So, Alana tells me you're a wine salesman?”

 

“You could say that. I own a wine bar up in New Orleans. I've had it for about ten years. Do you like wine?”

 

Hannibal smiled. “Is water wet?”

 

“I'll take that as a yes. We must share a glass sometime...or a bottle...or two…” Lee trailed off.

 

“Perhaps, if we go on another date.”

 

“If? How about... _when_ we go on another date.”

 

“You’re a cocky little thing aren’t you?”

 

Lee shrugged. “Guilty as charged.”

 

“Speaking of cocks, Alana tells me you have taken to gardening a whole lot, so when’s the last time you had sex?” Lee asked, leaning in awaiting Hannibal’s answer.

 

Hannibal stayed silent for a moment while he made a mental note to give Alana a stern talking to then casually took another sip of his drink. “What makes you think I haven’t had sex in a while?”

 

“I didn’t say _a while_ , which means you’ve inadvertently answered my question. What qualifies as a while?”

 

Another sip.

 

“What, a few months?”

 

Hannibal looked down.

 

“A year?” Lee was beginning to get worried.

 

“Close, but not quite,” Hannibal replied.

 

“Hannibal _no_.”

 

“My husband was the last person I slept with.”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Lee’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets.

 

Hannibal shook his head, no.

 

“You mean a hot, silver fox, papa bear like you hasn’t had _any_ intercourse for _three straight years_?”

 

“Well not exactly _straight_ years,” Hannibal said, cracking a smile.

 

Lee facepalmed but couldn't hold back a smile. “Since your balls haven’t swollen to the size of watermelons, I assume you’ve at least made good use of the vast amount of internet porn.”

 

Hannibal gave Lee the most incredulous look. “I’m not about to sit here and tell you about my internet porn escapades.”

 

Lee dramatically rolled his eyes. “You called them _escapades_ , which means you probably binge watch all by yourself in a cold dark room with a pile of tissues and a Costco-sized bottle of lotion next to the computer.” Lee reached across the table and took hold of Hannibal’s hand, petting it in mock-comfort. “Don’t worry, there’s still hope for you yet. It’s a good thing Alana set us up because this is an emergency - waitress!” He called out, beckoning the fiery-haired young woman to the table.

 

“What are you doing?” Hannibal asked.

  

“I’m telling the waitress to make our orders to-go,” Lee replied matter of factly.

 

“To-go? Where are you going?”

 

“ _We_ are going to my place and _we_ are going to fuck.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I googled it and apparently people pissing on graves is a pretty common thing, so my completely random idea wasn't too taboo xD


	2. Let Loose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal's not exactly sure if he's ready to start dating again, so Lee challenges Hannibal to let loose and have a little fun. Things seem to be going smoothly for Lee and Hannibal, but now, a big secret may cause some bumps in the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know it's been a while but you know how life is! I'm planning on having the next chapter up much sooner than it took me to write this one so keep your fingers crossed :D Thank you all who have left kudos, it's a big motivator! :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lee lived in a simple studio apartment. He had a mattress on the floor with a mini nightstand next to it. To the far left wall of his home, there was a small shrine to Buddha. There were chairs strewn about for entertaining guests. Diagonal from his bed was a humble wine rack; four across with three up and down, altogether twelve. He also had a small bookshelf-cabinet combo where he had little trinkets and a few photos of people Hannibal didn't know. Although the furniture may have been meager and the decor may have been lackluster, it had a rustic homey feel..

 

“You live a simple life,” Hannibal declared when they entered the room.

 

Lee smiled as he placed their bag of carry-out on the kitchen table and made his way over to the cabinet, grabbing two wine glasses and placing them on the counter. “Yeah, ever since I converted to Buddhism, I learned a lot about myself and I also learned that I could live and be happy without owning a lot of material things. It's put me in a better state of mind.”

 

“That's where we differ, I suppose. I like to indulge in the finer things in life.”

 

“That's okay. I'm not here to change you,” he said as he made his way to the wine rack. He grabbed one of the bottles and opened it before pouring satisfactory amounts into each glass. He reached for one of the glasses by the stem and handed it to Hannibal.

 

“Salud,” Lee said, raising his glass.

 

“Salud.” Hannibal replied, raising his glass as well.

 

They both wafted the wine under their nose prior to taking a sip. They let it wash over their tongues, bathing each taste bud in the red liquid before swallowing.

 

“The wine has the aroma of dried cherry with subtle hints of…” Hannibal wafted again, “cinnamon and vanilla. It has a deep flavor with a rich finish. It’s a medium bodied wine, yet it’s crisp enough to almost be considered light. It’s beautiful.” Hannibal smiled looking up to meet Lee’s gaze.

 

“Wow, I’ve never had anyone make analyzing a wine sound so sexy,” Lee stated, laughing a little.

 

“Well, perhaps they just weren’t doing it right,” Hannibal winked, taking another sip.

 

Lee studied the way Hannibal’s lips curved around the rim of the glass, drawing the wine into his mouth. It was like art. An art he’d want to admire for hours. He watched as his throat moved when the liquid made its way down. He wondered what other things that throat could do.    

 

Hannibal felt Lee’s eyes on him. “What are you thinking about, Lee?”

 

A trill of nervous laughter spilled from Lee’s lips. “I was thinking about your lips...and I was wondering how they'd feel pressed up against mine.”

 

Hannibal put down his drink, making eye contact with the younger man. “Why wonder when you can find out?”

 

Lee put his drink down as well and stepped closer to his date. He placed a gentle hand on Hannibal's face, caressing his jaw. He leaned in and closed his eyes pressing his lips against Hannibal's. It was a gentle kiss, a simple press of flesh. When he stepped back, he looked up at Hannibal’s face and he looked upset.

 

“Is everything okay Hannibal?”

 

“No, actually...I have to go.”

 

“What? Why?” Lee questioned.

 

“I had a great time, despite our first encounter, but I should go. I’ve got a mountain of papers to grade and I still have a lecture to put together. I’m really sorry, but I have to go.” Hannibal sounded rushed as he made his way to the door.

 

“Oh okay then, I’ll -” Before he could finish his sentence, Hannibal was already slamming the door behind him.

 

“Call you...”

 

***

 

The drive home was a blur.

 

Once Hannibal arrived home, he pulled at his collar, unbuttoning his shirt with haste, flinging it to the floor. It all of a sudden became too tight. He didn’t know why he left Lee in such a hurry, they’d actually hit it off quite well. It’s just that when their lips touched...it felt _good_.

 

It felt good and he hated it.

 

Guilt washed over him like rain. Even though Garret was gone, he still felt guilty about being with another man. It was partially the reason why he never put himself out there to begin with. It was far too early to tell, but what if he and Lee fell in love? _Could_ he fall in love again? Was he _allowed_ to fall in love again?

 

Hannibal made his way to the bedroom and plopped down onto the bed. He rested his face in his hands and groaned loudly. Why were things so difficult? Why was dating so difficult? Why couldn't Garret be alive so he didn't have to date again? He heard the house phone ring but he let it go to voicemail:

 

“ _You've reached the house of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. Leave your name, number, and a brief message  *beep*.”_

 

_“...Hey Hannibal, it's Alana. I got my new phone! I know it's still pretty early, so you're probably still out with Lee...or Lee is over at your house and you two are...busy. But I just called to remind you that you MUST call me tomorrow to tell me how the date went. I want details! Also remember: no glove no love! Talk to you later! Bye!”_

 

Hannibal rolled his eyes and smiled a little. Alana was a great friend and could always make him smile. Plus, she did have a point; now that he’d officially started dating again, it would be wise to stock up on a few _necessities_ should Lee and he decide to take things to the next level. He definitely knew Lee was interested, hell, they would’ve fucked until the sun came up if he’d allowed it. Hannibal made note to not forget to call her or he’d never hear the end of it. When he felt like putting in the effort, he got back up and walked out of the room to pick up the shirt he’d flung recklessly onto the floor then returned to the bedroom to change into his pajamas.

  


***

 

The wind felt good on his face as streaks of sweat rolled down his forehead, rolling down his neck, and soaking his shirt. He remembered when he could run full marathons without feeling winded as long as he paced himself. Now, he found himself barely able to get through a little more than half of his jog route before he was a puddle of sweat on the floor. He kept going though even if his lungs burned, pleading for a break. He could admit he’d been pretty lax when it came to his running schedule the past few weeks, but there was a 10k charity race he had signed up for and he needed to train. Lee made a mental note to make an appointment with his doctor and with that mental note came a pang of fear, but he pushed it out of his mind.

 

While he ran on the pavement, a thought ran circles through his mind. Hannibal had left in such a hurry last night. Lee knew sometimes he could be a bit much especially to new people, but he really did think that they had hit it off.

 

Lee stopped at the end of a street and decided to listen to his body and take a break. He gasped and coughed a little as his lungs stole oxygen from the air. He cursed himself for leaving his water bottle at home, thinking he wouldn’t need it. Once he finally got control of his breathing and his lungs didn’t feel like they were on fire, he glanced over and saw a car that looked like Hannibal’s parked in front of a small cafe called _Miss Shirley’s Cafe_. Lo and behold, a few seconds later, he saw Hannibal walking to his car with a styrofoam container.

 

Lee waited for Hannibal to get into the vehicle and start backing up before he ran behind the Bentley, hit the trunk, and pretended to fall on the ground as if he were injured.

 

Immediately, Hannibal turned off the car and ran to the back to help whoever he may have backed over.

 

“Oh my god I'm so sorry! I didn’t see you!” Hannibal bent down to help the person and realized the familiar face. “Lee? What are you doing here? Are you okay?! Where does it hurt?”

 

Lee feigned injury by wincing and pointing to vague areas of his body.  

 

“Oh my goodness...Wait here and don't move I'm going to get my phone and call an ambulance!”

 

Before Hannibal was able to turn, Lee bursted out into a fit of laughter.

 

Hannibal stood there dumbfounded. “What the - Lee that was not a funny joke! I thought I had a fucking lawsuit on my hands!”

 

Short spurts of laughter were pouring from Lee as he picked himself off of the ground. “Don’t worry I think I’m fine. How about this: I promise not to sue you if you go out on another date with me,” he said with a playful grin that soon turned into another fit of laughter.

 

Hannibal huffed out a breath of relief, shook his head, and leaned back against the trunk of his car. “You always get what you want don’t you?”

 

Lee stepped over to lean against the car as well. “I try to, yes. But let’s take the focus off of me for a moment. What happened last night?  You ran out of my apartment so fast, I thought I was watching a rerun of _Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner_ except you didn’t say ‘meep meep’ and I wasn’t trying to eat you.”

 

Hannibal bit his lip and smiled. “Well, _technically_ you were…”

 

They shared a laugh and Lee playfully bumped Hannibal with his shoulder. “But seriously, are you okay?”

 

Hannibal rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “I’m sorry about that. I was just...I felt guilty and scared. When you kissed me, it felt good, but this feeling of guilt washed over me because it felt wrong to be out with another man who wasn’t my husband. I thought maybe after three years, those feelings would have went away, but they’re still there.”

 

Lee rose an acknowledging eyebrow. “I can see where you’re coming from. It’s not easy to get back out there, and once you finally do, you feel bad for having fun. But I don't quite understand why you were scared?”

 

A bit of nervous laughter spilled from Hannibal. “I thought I wasn't going to be good enough for you...”

 

Lee furrowed his brows. “Look at me, Hannibal.”

 

The professor turned his head to face him. Lee turned as well and reached up to hold Hannibal’s face with gentle hands. He stared into his eyes for a moment before speaking. “It’s okay to date again, but most importantly, it’s okay to not be ready. You don’t have to get out there until you’re ready, but also remember that he wouldn’t want you sitting at home thinking of what it’d be like to have someone around. He’d want you to get out there and live. He would want you to be happy, okay?”

 

Hannibal nodded. It hadn’t occurred to him how much he needed to hear those words. He had become the very thing he’d been avoiding this whole time. Lee was right, Garret wouldn’t have wanted him to mope around and feel guilty about having fun.

 

“Thank you, Lee.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Lee let go of Hannibal’s face and leaned back against the car once again. “And don't worry about not being good enough. You _are_ enough. Trust me if you weren't, I wouldn't be pretending to get hit by your car.”

 

They shared another laugh before Hannibal spoke again. “I just got some crepes from the cafe. If you’d like, you could come by the house, I could make some coffee and we could eat together?”

 

Lee smiled at the offer. “That sounds delightful, but I must decline. I am super sweaty and in need of a shower. Plus, I need to get back home so I can meditate. However, this weekend, we are going to have fun! I'm not telling you where we're going, but you better find your dancing shoes. Oh and watch out for joggers!” With that, Lee winked and went back jogging in the other direction.

 

As he ran away, Hannibal smiled, rolling his eyes and may or may not have stolen a glance at how cute Lee’s butt looked.

 

***

 

The week went by achingly slow as Hannibal awaited for the surprise date Lee was taking him on. In the meantime he kept himself occupied with work. His students were moaning and groaning about a ten page essay he’d assigned on the topic of Nature vs. Nurture. A good few of his students were freshmen who had never written two pages of notes nevermind a ten page essay, so his office hours were more than full. He didn't mind helping them figure out their ideas and how to get them written onto the page, but one thing he did not tolerate was a student trying to make him write the essay for them. It was lazy and altogether rude. If they had the gall to not pay attention to his lecture, then they had the gall to take a failing grade.

 

Now, Hannibal looked himself once over in the mirror. He decided to wear a simple dark blue button-up and black slim-fit slacks with his Max Verre suede & patent leather oxfords. Hannibal opted for the ones with the blue laces to add an eye-catching accoutrement to his outfit.

 

These days he was letting his hair grow longer. The ends of silver, blonde, and brown were just touching his shoulders. He’d thought about dying it all grey so it was cohesive, but he soon grew fond of the unique strands. When finished styling his locks, he turned in the mirror to make sure everything looked kempt and it did. However, he thought his butt looked too big in the pants. He decided to change but he heard a knock at the door.

 

It was Alana and Lee.

 

“Hey Hannibal! Are you ready to party?!” Alana yelled boisterously as she danced her way inside.

 

Hannibal tilted his head to the side with confusion. “What are you two planning?”

 

Lee, by now, had made his way to the kitchen and was fiddling around with a banana. “Well, we both think you need to let loose and have fun, so Alana here has volunteered to be our designated driver. ”

 

Hannibal smiled. “Are we going to be drinking heavily?”

 

Lee stepped closer to Hannibal and put an arm around his shoulder. “Yes we are - well except for Alana ‘cause she’s volunteering not to. It’s part of the experience to get totally shitfaced as you dance all your troubles away. Like Albert Einstein always said: ‘E = M.C. Hammered.’”

 

“Again, that makes no sense in this situation and I’m a thousand percent sure that Einstein never said that,” Hannibal said incredulously.

 

“Yeah Lee, it was obviously William Shakespeare,” Alana retorted jokingly before they burst into a fit of laughter.

 

Hannibal eyed them suspiciously. “Are you two positive you already haven’t started the party _before_ you got here?”

 

“We’re as positive as a teen pregnancy test. We just want to have fun tonight, come on! When’s the last time you had fun? And I mean _real_ fun not the I-just-bought-new-seeds-for-my-garden type of fun,” Lee asked.

Hannibal thought about it. It _had_ been a while...“Okay, okay, I guess I can get with the program. But first I have to change my trousers.”

 

“What? Why? You look hot! They make your butt look great.”

 

“Yeah Hannibal, I can honestly say that if I wasn't married, I'd hop all over that,” Alana agreed.

 

“Also, all the guys will be drooling all over you then I can pop out of nowhere and show them that you’re taken,” Lee said with a seductive smile.

 

“Oh really? And how exactly would you do that?” Hannibal questioned, raising an inquiring brow.

 

“I’ve got my tricks…” Lee replied, his tone low and playful.

 

“Ugh, would you two stop eye fucking each other and let us get to the club. I may not be drinking tonight but I sure as hell want to get there before they stop playing good music.”

 

“Wait, I have to go pee,” Lee said last minute.

 

“There aren’t any graves around here though,” Alana joked.

 

Lee rolled his eyes and threw his hands up. “It was _one_ time!”

  


***

 

When they drove up to the club, there was a huge blue neon sign that read: _Glory Hole_. It shone its inviting light in the darkness, welcoming all who were ready to party all night long. By now there'd formed a long line down the block.

 

“Damn it you guys, the line is massive!” Alana exclaimed. “I told you we should've left earlier.”

 

“Don't worry, the owner here is a good friend of mine,” Lee assured them as they got out of Alana’s car.

 

The music was so loud that Hannibal could feel the bass of the music through his shoes and up his chest before they set foot on the pavement. As they walked closer they saw the owner and a bouncer standing outside the club. The bouncer was a big, tall, muscular looking man with a look on his face that said _I will kill you if you try any funny business_. He was wearing a tight black shirt that said SECURITY in white bold letters. The man was selecting people to go into the club and the owner was greeting them as they arrived.  The owner was a dark-skinned man also tall and built, but he wore a loud suit of white and blue floral with shiny bejeweled shoes. Unlike the bouncer, he carried himself in a much more flamboyant way. When he glanced in their direction, his eyes went wide and a huge smile raced across his face.  

 

“Is that Lee _Motherfucking_ Fallon?!” He yelled with a friendly booming voice.

 

“In the _motherfucking_ flesh baby!” Lee ran over and they hugged. The owner picked Lee up as if he was lighter than air, swinging him from side-to-side before placing him back on the ground.

 

“Oh my goodness, I haven’t seen you in a hot minute! How are you?”

 

“I know, it’s been too long! I’m doing good, how about you?”

 

“I’m doing fine as wine!”

 

“You guys, this is my good friend Jack Crawford, but many people know him by his drag persona _Jacklyn Jill_.” Jack posed dramatically when Lee said his drag name then put out a friendly hand to shake theirs.

 

“Pleased to meet you two. Any friend of Lee’s is a friend of me,” he said with a wink.

 

“This is Alana,” Lee introduced.

 

“Pleased to meet you Alana. Your skin is gorgeous! Clearer than a summer day!”

Alana smiled. “Thank you. Your _suit_ is gorgeous!”

 

“Oh, this old thing? It’s been in the closet for years, so I decided to let it out and get some fresh air!” Jack enthused, throwing his hands up in the air.

 

Next, Lee introduced Hannibal. “Jack, this is Hannibal.”

 

Jack put his hands on his face in astonishment. “My, my, my...aren’t you delicious. Oh! Those cheekbones could cut diamonds!”

 

Hannibal could feel the red spreading across his cheeks. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome darling.” Jack then turned to Lee. “Now Lee, if you don’t make your move on this one, I’m gonna have to snatch him up for myself.”

 

Lee looked over at Hannibal with fondness in his eyes. “I’m working on it. Perhaps I could dazzle him with my amazing dance moves in your wonderful establishment,” Lee beamed.

 

“Of course! You guys come on in!” Jack moved the red cord and let them enter the club. Down the line there were audible groans of impatience and Jack yelled back at them. “Oh hush up!”

 

Lee was the last to enter and Jack placed a hand on his shoulder, signaling him to stop and talk for a minute. “Lee, _how are you_?”

 

The high flourish to Jack’s voice was gone and seriousness radiated from him. Lee didn’t want to worry him, but ol’ Jack could tell if he was lying from a mile away.

 

“Things aren't... _great_. I have a feeling deep in my gut and I just hope I'm wrong.”

 

“You think it's back?”

 

The was a heartbeat of silence before Lee spoke. “...Yeah.”

 

Jack's face softened the same way it had when Lee first told him five years ago.

 

When Lee said they were close friends, he really meant it. Back when Lee was younger, he used to come see Jacklyn Jill perform and they soon became best friends. When Lee first found out about the cancer, his doctor recommended surgery but Lee refused. Instead, he opted for two powerful rounds of chemo. The days were dreadful. Lee could barely move because the chemo made him throw up everything he ate, so there was no way to get any good source of nutrients without purging it up the next second. The only friend he told was Jack and Jack stayed by Lee’s side through it all. Through the tears, through the pain, through the vomiting, through the anger - and there was _so much_ anger. But ol’ Jack didn’t take it personally though, because he knew the anger stemmed from Lee’s fear of dying but he also had this way about him that allowed him to understand people and feel how others felt. He called it his gift. A gift it was indeed. Without Jack’s constant support even through the thick of it, Lee wouldn’t be standing there today. Lee can still feel the tight grip of Jack’s big arms around him when the doctor announced Lee was in remission.

 

“Do they know?”

 

Lee looked down. “No, I just can't bring myself to tell them - not yet anyway. Besides, things haven't gotten too serious yet and I don't want to say anything if I don't have to.”

 

Jack squeezed Lee’s shoulder and looked down at him tenderly. “I know how you like to deal with things in a private way, and you know I’m always here for you Lee, but don’t let that man fall in love with you before you tell him. It’ll break his heart,” Jack chided.

 

“Lee are you coming?!” Alana’s voice strained to rise above the booming sound of the music blaring from inside the club.

 

Jack let Lee go but not before giving him another bear hug and a pinch on the tush. “Go have fun darling! Drink and be merry!”

 

“Wait before I go, is Jacklyn Jill going to make an appearance tonight?”

 

“Why of course sweet thang! She never misses a party!”

 

“I can’t wait to see her!”

 

When Lee entered the club, there were bodies from wall to wall dancing and jumping, hooting and hollering, bumping and grinding. The room was dimly lit but had flashes of colorful strobes and moving light specials that painted the crowd in waves of light. Some people had glow-in-the-dark necklaces and bracelets adorning their bodies that illuminated them as they danced to the thrashing beat. The song that blared through the speakers was a remixed version of _Express Yourself_ by Madonna. In the middle of every quadrant of the club, there was a caged go-go dancer gyrating their bodies to pump up the crowd. Each one of them were muscular young men wearing tight booty shorts that had _Glory Hole_ written across the back. All the way in the back of the club, there was a huge jumbo screen that played clips of the music video. Underneath it was a stage where the DJ bopped his head while mixing the music.

 

Lee noticed right away that when they walked in, a few guys had their eyes on Hannibal and Hannibal noticed it too.

 

“Holy shit, I haven’t been in a gay club since Hannibal and I used to go to them back in college, but they were _nothing_ like this.” Alana said as she peered around.

 

“Oh so you _do_ know how to have fun?” Lee said as he playfully jabbed Hannibal’s side. Hannibal smiled back at him.

 

Soon, a strapping young man, also in booty shorts, approached them with a tray of mini cups. His smile was bright and inviting. “Hello, welcome to Glory Hole, would you like some complimentary jello shots?”  

 

“No thank you,” Hannibal declined.

 

“Um, _yes_ thank you,” Lee took two and slurped up one. It tasted like green apple infused with vodka. “Ooo, that’s good! Now Hannibal, take this one because we’re not leaving here until we’re drunk off our asses. Bottoms up.”

 

Hannibal took the cup and looked it hesitantly. Lee's words echoed in his mind: _Let loose and have a good time..._ He took the cup and put it up to his lips, slurping its contents.

 

Lee, Alana, and the boy all waited expectantly for Hannibal’s reaction.

 

Hannibal shifted his eyes to the left...then to the right...“It's good!”

 

They all cheered and the boy wished them a good time before he went to distribute more shots to other club goers.

 

Soon after, the music changed and _If I Can't Have You_ by the Young Divas came on. Alana yelped. “Awww yeah, this is my jam! Bye losers, I'm going to dance!” Just like that she disappeared into the crowd of bodies.

 

Hannibal and Lee laughed and waved at her before she was swallowed by the masses.

 

“I love Alana’s energy but I'm going to need a few drinks before I hit the dance floor. Come with me.” Lee stated, leaning in so Hannibal could hear him.

 

At the bar they were greeted by a bartender with spiky neon-green hair. He had piercing blue eyes that could hypnotize you into buying a drink. He wasn't as muscular as the other employees, he was actually quite skinny and was very young in the face. Just like the others, he wore some type of Glory Hole clothing. His was a regular hot-pink t-shirt that he'd cut the sleeves off of to make it into a tank top, showing off his pale arms and the sides of his torso.

 

“Hey guys, what can I get you?”

 

“One Whiskey Sour, please. Hannibal, what would you like?” Lee asked turning to Hannibal.

 

“A Vodka Sour please,” Hannibal answered.

 

Lee handed the bartender his card. “Put it on my tab.”

 

The bartender took the card and smiled. “Coming right up.”

 

They watched as the young man prepared their drinks then thanked him when he handed the glasses to them.

 

“So, what are you into?” Lee questioned, taking a sip from his cocktail.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean what are you into _sexually_? Do you like using toys? Are you into kinky stuff? BDSM? Exhibitionism? Voyeurism? Or are you very vanilla and like to play it safe in the bedroom? Or are you a spur of the moment type of guy, y’know? Tell me what you expect when we do the horizontal tango.”

 

Hannibal pursed his lips in thought. “I guess I like to be in control, but I don't mind a spur of the moment encounter. Toys are fun, but they’re never as good as the real thing. How about yourself?”

 

“I'm more or less open minded. I'd try anything once ‘cause you never _really_ know what you're into until you've done it.”

 

“That's an interesting outlook. Have you ever done something you didn't care for?” Hannibal took a large swig of his drink.

 

A particular memory peeked up in Lee’s mind. He took another sip before speaking. “There was this one guy who wanted me to drink this weird drink that'd make me shit a lot…and he wanted me to shit on his face.”

 

Hannibal nearly choked on his drink. “ _Did you_?”

 

“You’re damn right I did! We threw a tarp down, he lied on his back, and I let loose. After I did the deed, I went to clean myself off and I came back and offered to suck him off or something but he said that he didn't need it.” Lee paused. “Hannibal, you would not believe how hard this guy came. It was like Yosemite! Long story short, we broke up because I couldn't kiss him again after I'd shit on him. Which he thought was a totally reasonable reaction. He did thank me for not judging him and he said - and I quote - ‘if our paths were to ever cross again, I'd be honored to have you shit on my face again’.”

 

“Well, it seems like you have had quite the interesting experience with past lovers.”

 

“Yup, sure have,” Lee said, laughing a little.

 

Their glasses clinked on the bar table once they finished off their drinks.

 

“Would you two like another round?”

 

“Yeah, but instead of the sours, we would like two Blowjobs please.”

 

The bartender smiled. “Excellent choice.”

 

Hannibal furrowed his eyebrows. He'd never heard of a drink called a _Blowjob_ before and he was genuinely curious what the bartender would prepare.

 

When the bartender was done, he handed them their shots.

 

It was a nice looking drink. The three liquids were neatly stacked on top of each other, topped with whipped cream. Hannibal was hesitant because he was quite finicky about what went into his body and _Reddi Wip_ was not on the list of things he was fond of. However, he already took a jello shot. The damage had been done.

 

“Have you ever had one of these before?”

 

Hannibal shook his head no.

 

“Okay so this drink is made with one part Bailey’s Irish Cream, one part Kahlúa, one part Amaretto, then it’s topped off with whipped cream. The taste isn't to die for, but the challenge is that you have to drink it with no hands.”

 

“No hands?” Hannibal inquired, arching a brow. If there was anything Hannibal loved most, was a good challenge.  

 

“Yeah, I'll show you.” Lee put his hands behind his back and lowered his head, peering seductively at Hannibal. He wrapped his lips around the rim of the glass, clenching his lips around the edge. When it was secure, he lifted the glass off the table and moved his head up and backward until the drink disappeared down his throat. He reached up and removed the empty glass from his mouth, looking very pleased with himself. “Just like that.”

 

Following the same technique, Hannibal put his hands behind his back and put his lips around the rim of the glass. He shot back his head and downed the drink in one gulp. The taste wasn't the best. If anything, it tasted like a cheap tiramisu.

 

Lee was impressed. “Usually first timers aren't able to do that as well as you did.”

 

“Well, I guess I've always been good at swallowing.” Hannibal winked.

 

“Huh, I guess we'll have to see what other things you're good at swallowing…” Lee said, his voice trailing off. “You got a little something -” Lee gestured to Hannibal's lips. Hannibal was about to ask for a napkin to wipe his face but Lee interfered.

 

“Here, let me.” Lee reached up to bring Hannibal's face closer to him then placed a kiss on Hannibal's lips. Hannibal was able to down the drink like a champ and definitely didn’t have anything on his mouth, however Lee just wanted an excuse to give the man a kiss. When he pulled away, Lee licked his own lips and peered up at the professor with sultry eyes. “Got it.”

 

This kiss was nothing like the one in Lee's apartment. Hannibal had kissed him back. His face wasn't frigid with a mask of guilt, his eyes were half lidded and his cheeks were flushed with red. He'd enjoyed it, participated in it, wanted more of it.

 

“I think you have a little something too.” Hannibal declared, his voice raspy. He leaned down to place a kiss on Lee's lips. Their mouths still tasted of coffee liqueur and cream. A sweet mix. The kiss was hungrier this time, more urgent. Lee allowed Hannibal's tongue to venture inside and luxuriate in the taste.

 

When they pulled away, they’d left each other's lips pink and swollen.

 

“I think we should get on the dancefloor before we end up fucking on top of this bar,” Lee said, breathless.

 

Just then the the fun beats of a mixed version of _Don't Cha_ by The Pussycat Dolls filled the club. Lee pulled Hannibal onto the dancefloor and they became another addition to the packed crowd of dancing bodies.

  


***

 

By now they had been dancing for hours, going back and forth to the bar filling up on sours and jello shots. Their minds were swimming in a sea of alcoholic beverages and the fog of exhaustion.  At the moment they were at the bar resting in between songs. Lee ordered a Lemon Drop and was sucking on the lemon wedge rolled in sugar.

 

“You know your way around a dancefloor, Hannibal.” Lee said.

 

“You could say the same thing about yourself. You've got some moves. I really liked this one -”

 

Hannibal moved his body like a robot as he mimicked Lee's dance moves.

 

Lee chuckled, throwing his head back. It could've been the alcohol but seeing Hannibal pop and lock like a cyborg was the funniest thing he had ever seen.

 

Soon, the smooth voice of Caron Wheeler filled the room:

 

“ _Back to life, back to reality…_

_Back to life, back to reality….”_

 

“Oh my god I love this song!” Lee exclaimed. “You have to dance with me Hannibal!”

 

_“Back to life, back to reality…_

_Back to the here and now yeah..._ ”

 

Lee pulled Hannibal away from the bar and began swaying his hips to the beat of the music. Lee made sure to pull Hannibal deep enough into the crowd so that they were near the middle this time. They’d been dancing on the outskirts of the crowd, but this time he wanted everyone to see that Hannibal was his.

 

When their destination was on point, Lee turned around and backed himself onto Hannibal's front. He arched his back, grinding his ass on Hannibal's crotch and smiled devilishly to himself as he felt the professor’s reaction. Hannibal placed a firm but gentle grip on Lee's hips and they moved in sync to the beat. By now, many others had cast their gaze upon them and Lee delighted in the attention.

 

Hannibal let the beat of the music and the smooth bassline guide his shoulders as they took turns rolling back in a steady rhythm.

 

Sometime during the evening Lee's grey shirt had become unbuttoned a little and his chest peeked out. Sweat from the hours of dancing glistened his body and shone under the glow of the rainbow strobe lights.

 

“ _Show me how, decide what you want from me_

_Tell me maybe_

_I could be there for you..._ ”

 

Lee didn't notice it before, but Hannibal's shirt hugged him in all the right places. He could see the outline of the muscular plates of his chest and the sinew of his shoulders and arms. Hannibal had long, and graceful lines about him and Lee’s eyes traced over each and every one of them.

 

“ _However do you want me,_

_However do you need me..._ ”

 

As the violins sounded within the song, Hannibal peered back at Lee with a craving desire. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so wanted or the last time he wanted someone else this much.

 

“ _How, however do you want me,_

_However do you need me._

_Back to life, back to the present time,_

_Back from a fantasy..._ ”

 

Lee watched as Hannibal's eyes drank him in like the wine they'd shared. He rolled his body, showing Hannibal what he was capable of. Hannibal reached out a hand and placed it on the small of Lee's back bringing Lee closer to him. He placed a leg in between Lee's thighs, moulding their bodies into a forbidden Lambada. Lee wrapped an arm around Hannibal's shoulder, delighting in the heat that radiated between them.

 

“ _Yeah, tell me now, take the initiative_

_I'll leave it in your hands until you're ready oh..._ ”

 

They were so close, their eyes had no choice but to lock on each others’. Lee's eyes had a flickering flame of desire inside them. Hannibal's own eyes had grown dark with lust. Their breaths were ragged and short, their minds were hazy and floating from the alcohol. Yet they still teased each other by bringing their lips one breath away from contact then pulling away last minute. It was a game of chase, a challenge they both wanted to accept.

 

“ _However do you want me,_

_However do you need me_

_How, however do you want me..._ ”

 

The details were hazy, but somewhere after the end of the song and the beginning of another they found themselves kissing and stumbling into a handicap stall, pulling at each others’ belts and pants until the garments were pooled at each others feet.  

 

Lee choked out a hurried “ _It’s in my back pocket..._ ” before Hannibal scrambled for the square foil packet and ripped it open with his teeth, spitting out the ripped edge onto the floor.

 

The bathroom tiles were cool on Lee’s face as Hannibal bent him over, pushing him up against the wall. Hannibal stroked himself a few times but he didn't need it; he was painfully hard. He then slicked two fingers with spit, shoving the eager digits into Lee’s waiting entrance. Lee whined as he felt Hannibal plunge into him. Hannibal removed his fingers and slipped the lubricated ring on his hard member, diving into Lee like a swimmer into a pool.

 

He gripped Lee’s hips and closed his eyes, shuddering at the warmth. Lee's breath caught in his throat as Hannibal slid in with his full length. Waves of pleasure lapped up Lee’s spine with every thrust. The sound of Hannibal’s balls slapping up against him were downright obscene but they loved it. It edged them on. They were alone now but the thrill of someone walking in at any minute sent adrenaline coursing through their veins like an amalgamation of ice and fire.

 

“ _Harder_ ,” Lee moaned, his breath briefly fogging on the tile.

 

Hannibal grunted and fucked him harder; Lee pushed back onto Hannibal’s cock hoping to get him as deep as possible. As Hannibal neared he pressed himself onto Lee’s back, his head in the crook of Lee’s neck, his alcohol-stained breath blowing into Lee’s ear until there were desperate moans thudding against Lee’s eardrums.

 

“ _I-I’m_ …” Hannibal yelped. He slapped himself into Lee one last time, signaling release. Lee palmed his own erection in his hands and cried out soon after, dripping his load in a puddle on the floor. Harsh belabored breaths expelled from their lungs as they stood there trying to regain strength.

 

“ _Fuck…_ ” was all Lee had the strength to say and even that was a soft whisper into the tile.

 

When they could finally move again, Hannibal pulled out slowly and removed the condom, tying it off and throwing it into the trash.

 

They didn’t say anything as they put themselves back together. Lee wadded up some toilet paper and cleaned his spillage from the floor. When things were back to normal, Hannibal gripped the latch and opened the door for Lee.

 

“Just like a true gentleman,” Lee said as he walked through.

 

As they washed their hands, a few people came in. They’d finished just in the nick of time and looked themselves once over in the mirror before ducking their heads and quickly scattering out of the restroom.

 

“Looks like we can cross off exhibitionism from the list…” Lee said, jabbing Hannibal’s side.

 

They laughed.

 

Once they got back out to the dancefloor, they saw Alana at the bar craning her neck probably looking for them. When she saw them, a smile crept onto her face and she waved them over.

 

“Where did you guys go?”

 

Lee pulled his mouth to the side. Nonchalant. “Oh, we just went to the bathroom.”

 

She eyed them suspiciously. “You guys fucked didn't you?”

 

“We didn't have sex Alana. We promise.”

 

“I call bullshit because everybody knows that club bathrooms are for two things: drugs and sex. And I know you two aren't dumb enough to take candy from strangers.”

 

“Well, your opinion is yours...only we know the truth.” Hannibal said, putting an arm around Lee.

 

A little time passed then the music faded to a stop and a man’s voice came up through the speakers. “ _Ladies, boys and gentlemen! Beautiful queens of in-between! Put your hands together for the one...the only...Jacklyn Jill!_ ” A roar of applause echoed throughout the room.

 

Soon there was a spotlight pointing up at the ceiling and there she was in a stunning blue sequinned gown. The crowd was stunned to silence. A video of her had been projected onto the jumbo screen for all to see. Her makeup was gorgeous. Eyelids stained with glittery-blue, lips lined with deep glossy red, eyeliner so sharp you’d prick a finger, and stacks of lashes that reached out for miles. Everytime she blinked, Lee swore he could feel their wind wick at his face. _And her hair_. A huge mane of curly afro, black as the night sky. She was sitting atop a bar that had two suspension cables on either side of them.

 

Just then the grandiose piano beginning of Gloria Gaynor’s _I Will Survive_ filled the club and Jacklyn began to move her lips to the song. Not a note off beat.

 

“ _At first I was afraid, I was petrified…_ ”

 

She began to move.

 

The bar carried her gracefully over the crowd. Angelic.

 

“ _Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side…_ ”

 

“ _But then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong…_ ”

 

“ _And I grew strong..._  
_And I learned how to get along…”_

_“_ _And so you're back_  
_From outer space_ _  
_ I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face...”

 

Right then a large disco ball descended from the ceiling and confetti fell from the sky! Alana pulled them within the crowd and they all clasped hands jumping to the music.

 

The bar twirled Jacklyn over the crowd and down to the stage in front of the DJ. She stomped on beat with huge white platform heels. Spinning and twirling around. The crowd roared as they danced along with her. Some people held up dollar bills and she took them and gracefully stuffed them into her bra.

 

“ _Go on now, go, walk out the door_  
_Just turn around now_  
_'Cause you're not welcome anymore_  
_Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye_  
_Do you think I'd crumble_ _  
_ Did you think I'd lay down and die?...”

 

They sang along to the song until they were breathless with the fragments of reflected disco light waving over their sweaty bodies.

 

They felt alive.

 

They felt free.

 

As Jacklyn mouthed the last words of the song, everything faded into a fog of memories. Lee looked around and felt like he was watching somebody else's life unfold before him. The lights melted over his eyelids and he whispered the words into the hot air.

 

“ _I will survive…_

_I will survive…_ ”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :)


	3. Holy Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hannibal and Lee's relationship continues to develop; however, the results of Lee's doctor's appointment leaves him in a compromising predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know...it's been *quite* some time since the last update. I dunno for some reason this chapter was really hard for me to write, but it's complete now! So, here you go! :D 
> 
> Also I want to give a BIG thank you to those who've left kudos, left comments, and just read my story in general! It really means a lot to me! :D

 

 

Lee felt like shit.

 

When he opened his eyes, sunlight poured in through his eyelids like sharp knives.  Usually when he woke up, he was greeted by the plain beige walls of his apartment but this morning he was surrounded by grandiose decor and his body was swaddled in silk sheets that had a thread count of _at least_ a thousand. Plush pillows propped up his head which would’ve been comfortable, but no matter what position he was in, his brain felt like it was pounding against his skull, leaving its gelatinous bits against the hard wall of bone.

 

“... _Fuck_ .” he whispered to himself as he tried to sit up. _Yeah I’m just gonna lay here for a minute..._

 

As he lied there, some short recollections of the night before flashed in his mind. He remembered the dancing, the firm grip on his hips as Hannibal took him in the bathroom, he didn’t remember the drinking but he knew there was a shitload of it, then he recalled puking in the parking lot and not much else. The drive home and how he got into this bed were beyond him.

 

The pitter-patter of the shower echoed through the room until it didn’t anymore. The water droplets hitting the shower floor sounded like infinite rounds of gunshots, so he was beyond thankful when they finally stopped. When he was able to sit up without his head feeling like it was going to cave in, Hannibal padded into the room with a white towel around his waist, his hair shiny and dripping from the wash.

 

“Good morning. I left you...”  

 

Hannibal’s words faded into the air as Lee was pulled into a trance.

 

The white towel, a bright contrast to his tanned skin, fell just below his hips, allowing the sharp angles of his bones to jut out from beneath the fabric. Lee’s eyes traced down the water-glistened body, following the droplets that cascaded from his chiseled jaw, through the beautiful thicket of chest hair and onto the carpet. He remembered how muscular Hannibal looked while they danced at the club, but that didn’t compare to seeing Hannibal’s naked torso before him. Hannibal wasn’t extremely built, but when he moved, you could see every muscle relax and contract, pulling at bone and sliding like silk under smooth golden skin. There were grayish-blonde hairs running across his chest in labyrinthine cross hatchings that skipped the small circles of his nipples then dwindled into a straight-lined trail, trickling down the middle of his abdomen to meet another gathering of hair underneath the towel. His arms and legs, too, had furious lines of dark gray-blonde that gently lied upon the skin, trapping droplets of water there.

 

Often, Lee went for men who were bigger, hairier and a bit softer around the middle, and although Hannibal had the slightest beginnings of a paunch, he still had the tight disciplined body of a dancer or perhaps a gymnast. Lee made a mental note to ask if he’d been either of the two in an earlier life.  

 

“Lee? Are you alright?”

 

When Lee snapped back to reality, Hannibal was staring back at him with concern. “Shit. Sorry, you kinda caught me off guard waltzing in here half naked like you don’t know how sexy you are.” Lee said, cracking a half smile before biting his lip. His throat was dry, making his tongue feel like sandpaper and his voice sound deeper than normal. He didn't know if it was from the hangover or from the sight of Hannibal’s Adonis bod, but either way, he was suddenly aware of his morning erection.

 

“Oh, my apologies. Is this better?” Hannibal challenged. Slender fingers untucked his towel from around his hips allowing the terry cloth to pool about his feet.

 

Without the towel to bar him, Lee could follow that line down and down to the thick flesh of Hannibal’s uncut member. Last night, Lee didn’t really get to look at it, he kinda just _felt_ it. Lee furrowed his brow and pursed his lips in feigned confusion. “Hm, for some odd reason that makes me want you _more_ …”

 

They shared a hearty laugh before Hannibal collected the towel from the floor and threw it over his shoulder, using it to dry his hair.

 

“I _said_ …” Hannibal repeated as he turned toward the dresser to fetch a pair of underwear, his pale buttocks facing the younger man. “I left you a glass of coconut water and some aspirin. You threw up quite a bit last night, so I recommend you sip on that for a while before taking a hot shower. The coconut water is a bit sweet so you can have some flavor, and it's a good source of electrolytes - that will help with the headache along with the aspirin. After you take a shower, I can lend you some clothes and put your stuff in the wash. In the meantime I’ll make breakfast.”

 

Once he had underwear on, Hannibal placed the towel in the hamper then turned back toward Lee. “There are extra toothbrushes in the second drawer when you first walk into the bathroom, the towels are in the linen closet, and I’ll leave the clothes on the bed for when you finish.”

 

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” Lee turned to the nightstand and saw the two tablets laying on a napkin next to a tall glass filled with the coconut water. He took the tablets and chased them down with a few gulps of drink. He took a few more swigs for he didn’t realize how thirsty he actually was until the subtle sweet taste of the coconut water hit his parched tongue.

 

“The pleasure is all mine.”    

  
  


***

  


They were in the kitchen now. Hannibal lent Lee a grey v-neck and some jeans. The pants were a bit long so Lee had to cuff the jeans twice, but otherwise they were a nice fit.

 

“I’m keeping these jeans,” Lee called out when he’d emerged from the bedroom. “They make my ass look great!”

 

“Go ahead, and it’s a great ass indeed,” Hannibal said as he gave Lee’s bottom a good smack.

 

“It smells amazing in here, what’s for breakfast?”

 

“Spinach and bacon quiche. It's been in the oven for a while so it will be about fifteen or so minutes.”

 

“Ooo fancy. So let’s see here…you’re hot, you’re smart, you can dance, _and_ you can cook? Looks like I’ve hit the jackpot huh?”

 

“I suppose you have.” Hannibal replied as he gazed up at Lee through long lashes.

 

The house had an open concept, making it feel really big even though it was a smaller home. The kitchen led right into the living room so Lee meandered about the area, looking at decorations on the wall and eyeing the beautiful pieces of furniture.

 

“You have a lovely home. It’s cozy and borderline pretentious...but in a good way.”

 

“Thank you. That’s exactly what I was going for,” Hannibal said, cracking a smile as he cut some fruit.

 

Lee had made his way to the far right corner of the living room where a cluster of family photos hung on the wall. Most of them were of Hannibal and a young woman, others with elderly individuals, Hannibal’s parents perhaps. His eyes caught light of a photo; it was a picture of Hannibal and a man with a young woman between them. In the photograph the girl must not have been more than ten or eleven. She had dark brown hair that made it look almost black, her skin was pale white, and her eyes were spheres of striking blue. Hannibal’s hair was shorter here, more blonde and brown than gray. The other man had a round face, large forehead, short dirty blonde hair with a deep widow’s peak, piercing blue eyes, and a short length beard that framed his chin nicely. They were smiling. A happy family.

 

Hannibal cut the last of the fruit, put them in a decorative tupperware container, and placed it in the fridge to chill. He rinsed his hands and wiped them on his apron before removing the garment and making his way over to Lee.

 

“That was your husband?” Lee said pointing to the other man in the photo.

 

“Yes, and in between us is our daughter Abigail.”

 

“She's gorgeous.”

 

“She is, isn't she? Everytime I look at these photos, a wave of nostalgia washes over me. It feels like it was only yesterday she was speaking her first words, now she's finishing her first year of college.”

 

“Time flies, doesn't it?”

 

“It sure does.” Hannibal gestured to the couch, signaling for them to take a seat. As they sat, the leather of the couch creaked under their weight. They sat close. Hannibal crossed his legs, left over right. Lee sat with his legs open, his knee grazing Hannibal's. Silence surrounded them for a moment before Hannibal broke it with his words.

 

“You ever thought about raising children?”

 

Lee brought his hand to his chin, dragging his fingertips over the stubble there. “I don’t think I’ve ever really considered having a kid - I mean I guess it could’ve been a possibility if I had found the right person.” _Or didn't get cancer_ … “Let’s just say I was really good at sabotaging relationships.” A trill of nervous laughter spilled out from his lips, it sounded almost guilty.

 

“ _Could have_ …” Hannibal guffawed. “You say that as if your clock’s run out. You’re still young; you’ve got time to find someone if you want. Mind you, there’s no shame in wanting to be alone and having a little fun.”

 

_Time_. That was one thing Lee wasn't sure that he had.

 

“But I’m not alone, I’m with you.”

 

“That you are,” he said, pausing for a moment. “Are you planning on sabotaging this relationship?”

 

Lee turned toward Hannibal and placed a gentle hand on his face. “No,” he traced his thumb along the line of his cheekbone. “I want this. I want us.” And he wasn’t lying. Lee _did_ want this, but he knew there was a chance that he couldn’t have it - not for long, anyway.

 

Hannibal’s lips curled up into a smile as he pressed his face into Lee's hand, indulging in the warmth. He missed warmth. He reached his hand up to meet Lee's and moved Lee's fingertips to his mouth to place gentle kisses upon them. “Good. I want this too.”

 

And it was so. The confirmation of both parties that this was a relationship and that they were both committed to making it work. However, the mental note of a doctor's appointment seared in the back of Lee's mind, nagging at him like a bad itch.

 

* _ding_ *

 

The timer went off.

 

“The quiche should be ready.” Hannibal flashed a smile before he got up to check the food.

 

As Hannibal got up, Lee could still feel his lips on the pads of his fingers. He heard the oven open and the grind of metal as the rack was pulled out.

 

“It's ready!” Hannibal exclaimed as he took the quiche out of the oven, placing it on a potholder on the kitchen table.

 

Lee hopped up, making his way back to the kitchen. The food smelled amazing and he usually couldn't eat after a night of drinking, but his stomach started growl so he decided he'd better sate it.

 

“Can you get the fruit out of the fridge while I cut the quiche?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Lee walked to the fridge and grabbed the container with the fruit. When he got back, he saw Hannibal setting the table.   


“You don’t have to do all that fancy stuff to impress me ya’know? You’ve already fucked me; I’m yours.” Lee said with a smirk.

 

Hannibal’s lips curled up, flashing sharp teeth. “This isn’t for you sweetheart. I told you I liked to indulge in the finer things in life. That includes setting the table for every meal with fancy little cutlery sets,” Hannibal replied wielding a finely crafted fork.

  


As they ate, Hannibal’s eyes traced over the lines of Lee’s face. He was young looking, around his mid to late thirties, but his face showed a tiredness that people who were much older carried along with them. As if he’d been through a plight that broke him to the core, but he was recovering slowly but surely. Lee had disclosed the fact he’d grown up with an abusive father, but Hannibal felt there was something more...He pushed it to the back of his mind. Old habit. Trying to fix people’s problems by probing into their lives based on the little information they provided. Instead, he fixated on the man in front of him and watched his jaw clench and relax as he chewed, his lips turning shiny and wet when the pink of tongue swept over them.

 

Hannibal could feel Lee’s eyes on him, too, drinking him in like a hungry kitten to warm milk. “Did you not get enough of me when I got out of the shower?” Hannibal asked, peering up from a warm cup of coffee.

 

“Apparently not. I can’t keep my eyes off you.” Lee replied, eyes focused on the man before him. “It’s like when your parents tell you not to look at the sun because it will destroy your eyesight, but I always used to think that the sun was just so beautiful and it only shone bright so that people wouldn’t look at it too long and get jealous. Except I’m not jealous of you, I’m enamored and I’d be honored to go blind as long as I got to gaze upon your beauty before it happened.”

 

Hannibal didn’t know what to say. “That was...beautiful.”

 

Lee sat back in his chair and the corner of his lips curved up into a warm half smile as he looked back at Hannibal. “Just like you.”

 

Hannibal could feel the heat as it rose up his neck and spread across his cheeks. “Thank you.”

 

Lee cocked his head to the side. “You’re blushing. I’m sure people have called you beautiful before.”

 

“Of course, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like hearing it.”

 

“Well, be prepared. You’ll be hearing it so often that you will be begging me to call you ugly.” Lee winked.

 

“I doubt that.”

 

“We’ll see.”

 

“You love to challenge don’t you? Perhaps as we get to know each other better, you’ll be able to explore the unknown.” Hannibal replied as he gazed up at him with maroon eyes.

 

“Oh I’d _love_ to explore your unknown…” Lee said suggestively.

 

Hannibal pierced a piece of fruit with his fork and spoke before bringing it to his mouth. “Speaking of ‘exploring’, I want you to know that I thoroughly enjoyed myself last night. I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.”

 

“I'm glad. I had fun too, but if I could do it all over again, I would've taken it easy on the drinks,” Lee laughed. “My head’s still pounding.”

 

“I probably would do the same, I swear the room was spinning when I woke up this morning.”

  


When they finished eating and cleaning up, Lee spoke. “I hate to leave so early, but I want to get home and meditate. I could do it here, but it’s easier for me to concentrate in more familiar surroundings.”

 

Hannibal cocked his head to the side. “Does meditation really work for you?”

 

“Yes it does actually. It’s helped me be more aware of my body and my mind, which helps me keep a positive attitude.”

 

Hannibal laughed a little.

 

“What’s funny?”

 

“Religion.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes. It’s just a set of rules that people created so that they could feel like they were more than gooey, mushy bags of meat with aimless senses of purpose.”

 

“Well, that’s why I like Buddhism because, it’s more spiritual than just a set of rules.”

 

Hannibal squinted his eyes in thought. “Isn’t it sexual misconduct to be a homosexual according to your Buddha?”

 

Lee smiled. “Well, us homos never get a break anywhere. But the way I see it is that if we weren’t meant to shove things in our asses, we would’ve been created with a gag reflex up our rectums.”

 

Hannibal laughed.

 

“What? Did I say something unsavory?”

  
  
  


***

  
  


He dreaded this day. His heart pounded against his ribcage, making his bones clatter like stones falling from a cliff. Nervous fingers flipped the ballpoint pen over and over in his hand. The scratching on the paper as he wrote his name felt as if fingernails were clawing at his eardrums. He’d been so happy when he hit the five year mark. Recurrence after five years was little to none. Of course with remission, there was always the chance the cancer would come back but...he had hope.

 

“Fallon?”

 

Other waiting patients poked curious heads up when they heard the name.

 

“Lee Fallon?” The nurse repeated.

 

Lee snapped back to the present and stood up. His footsteps sounded like firecrackers against the tile.

 

“I, uh, didn’t finish my paperwork.”

 

“It’s okay Mr. Fallon, you can finish it later.”

 

Lee nodded and followed the nurse to a small cubicle of a room.

 

“You just take a seat in there and Dr. Gomez will be right in.”

 

“Thanks.” _Great, more waiting_ . Lee squinted his eyes. The fluorescents were harsh on his eyes. Did they want him to add blind to his medical history too? _Fuck. Calm down Lee_. He hadn’t noticed his hands were clenched into tight fists until he peered down at the pain of fingernails digging into his palms. He released immediately. The impressions of semicircles pressed into his skin, turning red as they settled.

 

The vacuum of air that’d been pocketed in the small room was disrupted as the physician opened the door and closed it behind him.

 

“Hello Mr. Fallon! It’s nice to see you again, but if you’re back here there must be something wrong. What seems to be the problem?” Dr. Gomez greeted as he walked over to the sink, washed his hands then dried them with a paper towel.

 

“Hey Doc, it’s nice to see you too, but I wish it was under different circumstances. I’ve been feeling really weak these past couple days. You know how I’m a marathon runner?”

 

Dr. Gomez nodded as Lee spoke and began to do a basic physical exam. He pressed his fingers underneath Lee’s jaw, collarbone, and armpits to check the lymph nodes.

 

“Well, I can barely get through my jog route before I start to feel a sharp pain in my chest and then I get this cough that’ll last for a good five minutes or so. Then the other day when I was doing my self exam, I found a lump under my armpit with a kind of dark spot around it. It’s probably nothing, but I just want to make sure I’m in good shape for this 10k I’m about to do.”

 

Gomez took his stethoscope from around his neck and placed the ear tips in each ear then warmed the chestpiece with his hands before moving Lee’s collar down to place the instrument on the man’s chest.  

 

“Deep breath.”

 

Lee breathed in and out.

 

“Hm, I can see where your concern stems from given your medical history and, as you know with cancer patients, there’s always the risk of the cancer recurring. I, too, noticed some swelling of your left axillary lymph nodes so, I want to perform a fine needle biopsy to see if there are any cancerous cells then I want to get some updated scans to see what we’re dealing with - _if_ there’s anything to deal with.”

 

Lee was on edge and Dr. Gomez could sense it. He clapped Lee on the back. “Lighten up, Lee. Let’s take a look at the scans before we start to worry, okay?” Dr. Gomez said as he gave him a reassuring smile.

 

“Okay.”

  


***

  
  


“You’re lucky you came today. Another patient of mine had to reschedule their appointment, so you get to have your biopsy today instead of waiting. I know that’s the last thing you would’ve wanted.” Dr. Gomez’s voice sounded muffled behind the surgical mask.

 

“You know me so well.” Lee said in faux admiration. He was lying on his back with surgical drapes around his arm except for the small window of skin around the armpit where Dr. Gomez would stick the needle. Earlier, a nurse came in to shave him so when Gomez put the Betadine on him, it felt cool against the newly exposed skin.

 

Dr. Gomez smiled. “I’m giving you a local anesthetic so you’re going to feel a sharp prick.”

 

Lee had gotten used to needle pricks a long time ago, so he barely felt it go in.

 

“Can you feel this?” Dr. Gomez asked as he pressed the prepared area with gloved fingers.

 

Lee felt a pressure, but it didn’t hurt. He shook his head. “No.”

 

“Good. I’m going to put the biopsy needle in now.”

 

The doctor pierced through Lee’s skin with the needle and aspirated some cells from Lee’s lymph node, placing the cells on a clear slide to be analyzed by the lab. Once he was finished, he used some gauze to dab at the little bead of blood that bubbled up when he removed the needle. Dr. Gomez reached behind him and placed a small sterile bandage on the entry site. “I’ll give you a few of these bandages so you can change it when you get home. You’ll feel some tenderness for a few days and a little bruising will occur, but everything should be back to normal after a week or so. You did great.”

 

Lee couldn’t see Dr. Gomez’s smile, but the skin around his eyes crinkled, so he knew there was a smile underneath the mask.

 

“I’m going to put a rush order on the biopsy so we can get your results before you leave today, okay?”

 

“Okay. Thank you Dr. Gomez.”

  


***

  


They’d done the scans before the biopsy, so Lee was just sitting in the room waiting. He’d been waiting for about an hour, but it felt like years. He could feel the underlying soreness of the injection site. The medication was starting to wear off.

 

Again the pocketed vacuum of air was once again burst by the abrupt opening of the door. It was Dr. Gomez.

 

“Lee, your results are in.”  

  


***

  


Lee's ears tingled as he popped the cork of the wine bottle. He smelled the cork, enjoying the vibrant fruity notes of the wine. Hints of apricot, melon, and honeysuckle floated up his nose and hit the back of his throat. He put the cork on the counter and watched as the wine coated the inside of the glass when he poured it.

 

Two weeks had gone by; the words of the conversation bounced around in his mind like a racquetball ricocheting off a wall.

 

_“How long?”_

 

_“A little less than eight months...”_

 

Dr. Gomez didn’t want to give him a sense of panic and say the eight months were finite because anything could happen, yet he didn’t want to give Lee a false sense of hope either. The tumors could mutate even more and grow at a faster rate, they could stay as they are for a while before he became more cancer than man, or perhaps the powers that be would magically zap them away and someone would cheesily say “ _miracles do happen_ ”.

 

He’d refused treatment.

 

_“Are you sure Lee? The tumors are still quite small, we could do a few rounds of chemo and -”_

 

_“No. I can’t do chemo - not again. My brain felt like soup. I couldn’t eat or drink anything on my own and even when I was strong enough to eat, I’d just throw it all up in a minute. I was tired all the time, but I couldn’t sleep. Hell, I couldn’t even fantasize about fucking a hot guy because I had lost all desire to do anything. I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”_

 

_Gomez was defeated. “Okay. You have my number if you change your mind. Meanwhile, I’ll try to look into some clinical trials and find some options that are less aggressive. I don’t want you to give up Lee.”_

 

_“I’m not giving up. I’m choosing life.”_

 

Lee had lived for five years after his diagnosis and went through hell with chemotherapy and now all his doctor could give him was a little less than eight months? How cruel life can be to let you ride on hope for so long only to throw you off in an instant.

 

He didn’t know what the future held for him yet, but one thing he did know was that he had to tell Hannibal.

  


***

  


They’d officially been dating for two months, and it had surprised them how quickly they'd fallen into a routine. Date nights were every other night except for when Hannibal had to stay late at the university preparing some _Lecter Lectures_ or if a faculty meeting ran on too long. Other times, Lee would cancel if he had a business meeting with a wine importer or if he thought he needed to pick up more laps at the track to prepare for his 10K, which would then be followed by Hannibal telling him that he was pushing himself too hard and that he needed to take it easy.

 

_“Soon you're going to be all skin and bones and I won't have anything to hold onto while we're fucking,” he’d say._ Lee would smile at that and promise to pace himself - even though he didn't always listen. He was stubborn that way.

 

Lee would meet Hannibal at his house or Hannibal would meet Lee at his apartment. Sometimes when Hannibal stayed the night at Lee's, he'd hitch a ride to work and Lee would pick him up and drive him home. They'd go out every now and then to a new restaurant they wanted to try, but most of the time they stayed in at either of their places. Lee rarely cooked at home but when he did, it was mostly chunky stews and soups that'd last for the week so it was a nice contrast having Hannibal bring a bunch of tupperware with food items prepared and ready to be warmed in the oven or heated on the stove.

 

On the weekends, when time was ample, they'd make a trip to the farmer's market, buying bags of organic fruits and vegetables and they'd cook together.

 

Many a time they’d be left with ruined dishes because they just couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, leaving them no choice but to say ‘fuck it’ and order take out. It would be the simplest of things that’d set them off: A bite of a lip, a stare that lasted a millisecond too long, an accidental graze of a finger.

 

Sometimes Hannibal would come up behind Lee when he was dicing whatever vegetable the recipe called for, placing his hands on Lee’s to guide him, letting his head rest in the crook of Lee’s neck. “Cut them a bit bigger,” he’d whisper as he corrected the man, his lips brushing against the sensitive flesh of Lee’s ear. “If the cubes are too small, they can get too soft and ruin the dish; however, if you cut them bigger, they’ll be nice and... _firm_.” Almost immediately they’d pounce on each other. Lee would be bent over the kitchen counter in a flushed mess as Hannibal took him right there in front of the half-cut vegetables.

  


One night when the wine was plentiful and flowing, they made love all night long. They were in Lee’s apartment and he’d opened the curtains so they could be bathed in moonlight as they tangoed in the sheets.

 

Sweat gleaned off of their skin as their chests heaved in the afterglow of their pleasure. By now the stars were shimmering in the dark sky and casting their light on the Earth, their luminescence shining through the window and landing over the naked forms of the men’s bodies.

 

The clock was a few tic-tocks away from midnight, yet it was in that moment Lee had the courage to speak about the thing that’d been eating away at his mind.

 

“Hannibal?” he whispered.

 

Nothing.

 

At first he thought he had spoken too soft but a few seconds later, he heard the man’s reply.

 

“Hmm?” his tone was pleasant, but straddling the line of awake and sleep.

 

They were on their backs with limbs tangled in the sheets. Lee didn’t turn his head toward the professor, instead he spoke up to the ceiling, hoping it would cool the burn of the words as he said them.

 

“I had cancer...five years ago...and now it’s back….and I don’t know what I’m going to do - they gave me eight months. I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I was scared. At first I didn’t think this relationship was going to be serious, even though we said it would but people say things all the time…but _now_. Now that it truly is, I don’t want to ruin -”

 

Lee was interrupted by the low rumble of a snore.

 

“Hannibal?”

 

More snoring.

 

The clock silently struck twelve and Lee immediately put a hand over his mouth to stifle a shaky breath. He couldn’t believe he’d almost told Hannibal at that moment. He didn’t know what was washing over him. It was relief because he could still hold onto their relationship, but it was also fear because he didn’t know how much Hannibal heard before he was pulled into the clutches of slumber. Perhaps this was a sign from the heavens that it wasn’t the right time to tell Hannibal. Based on how Hannibal reacted to him in the morning, Lee would explain everything.

  


***

  


The next day, Lee was awakened by the soft press of Hannibal’s body against his back. He felt the man’s hand dip beneath the sheets and grasp his morning stiffness. He sighed slowly at the touch of the man’s warm hand against his length.

 

“Good morning,” Hannibal said as he kissed Lee’s shoulder, his voice raspy from sleep.

 

Either Hannibal was really good at taking bad news or he mustn’t of heard anything Lee said last night. Lee hid his sigh of relief in a pleasured moan. Hannibal quickened his pace until Lee was on the brink of release, jutting his hips into the professor's hand.

 

“Turn over,” Hannibal growled in his ear.

 

Compliantly, Lee did as told turning onto his back and the professor situated his face between the Lee’s legs. He took Lee’s cock into his mouth, furiously swirling his tongue around the tip before taking in the full length. Lee gripped hard at the bedsheets, knuckles whitening. “ _Fuck!_ ” He spilled into Hannibal’s mouth and the professor swallowed every last drop.  

 

“Delicious,” Hannibal whispered. He crawled up Lee's body to face him and pressed a deep kiss on Lee's lips, licking into his mouth, and letting him taste the remnants of his essence.

 

“What was that for?” Lee said when he caught his breath.

 

“I just wanted to taste you again.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yes, and I believe that I fell asleep on you last night. So I hope I am forgiven?” Hannibal raised an eyebrow, peering deep into Lee's eyes.

 

“Of course, but can I blame you? I did wear you out.”

 

Hannibal pressed another kiss onto Lee’s mouth. “That you did, darling. Now, what was it you were saying before I rudely fell asleep?”

 

Lee tried not to let the panic show on his face. “How about we take a shower together and I can tell you over breakfast?”

 

“But I believe I’ve already eaten.” Hannibal replied with a playful smile.

 

“I mean _real_ food.” Lee placed a hand on Hannibal’s shoulder, signaling him to roll off of him so he could get up.

 

After their shower, they made some french toast with two cups of coffee. They leaned back on the counter as they ate. Hannibal swallowed the last of a bite of food and he washed it down with a swig of coffee. “Okay, what did you want say. You have my undivided attention.” He  lips curled up into a playful smile.

 

Lee swallowed hard, placed his fork on his plate, and put the dish on the counter. “Oh, that” he cleared his throat. “Well, I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time and I know I should’ve said something earlier but I -”

 

Just then Lee was interrupted by Hannibal’s ringtone.

 

“My apologies.” Hannibal pulled his phone out of his pocket to see who was calling. When Lee saw that he was going to ignore it, he spoke up.

 

“You can take that, I’ll just say it after your call.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, go ahead.”

 

Hannibal pressed the green button on the touch screen and answered the call.

 

Lee tried to calm himself down inconspicuously as he heard Hannibal’s one sided conversation.

 

“I’m fine and you...that’s unfortunate...well, you married her and he came with the territory...tell Mason I said ‘hello’.” Hannibal ended the call with “love you too” but in the sarcastic way someone says it after they’ve just been insulted.

 

“Was that Alana?”

 

“Yes. She was telling me that she had to cancel on me.”

 

“You guys made plans?”

 

“Yes. Not this weekend, but the weekend after next, there’s going to be a psychology conference at the Hyatt in downtown Baltimore. At Winston Hall, they like their professors to be equipped with up-to-date information so the school pays for each regiment of professors to go to one conference per year. This year is the psychology department. I go to them every year regardless if the school pays for it. One can never go wrong with having updated information, but on the years that the school pays, I pay for Alana to go with me. She used to be a practicing psychiatrist as well, however she decided she wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom for a while. This was a way for her to stay on top of things while she was at home.”

 

“Oh, that’s nice. How come she’s cancelling then? Is something the matter with Peter?”

 

“No he’s fine, but Margot’s brother, Mason, is in town because he got into a quarrel with their father. Mason was living at their estate, but after the fight, Mr. Verger banished the boy from the family home.”

 

“Wow. I wonder what he did.”

 

“What _didn’t_ he do is more like it. Mason is a bonafied ‘pain in the ass’, trust me I’ve met him. But he’s family and he has nowhere else to go. Don’t get it twisted, Mason is a grown man, but he acts like a child in the worst ways. He’s all play and no work. But I digress; Alana can’t make it because she doesn’t want him alone in the house while Margot’s at work. If you’d like, you can accompany me. You’d get to meet some very close friends of mine and I would enjoy having you there. Plus,” Hannibal began as he sauntered over to Lee, trapping him between the counter and his body. “Our room would overlook the harbor, so I’d get to fuck you up against the window while the people below look up at your flushed face pressed upon the cool glass…”

 

All of a sudden Lee’s mouth was dry and he licked his lips. “Well, when you put it that way, I’d be a fool to reject.”

 

Hannibal flexed his brow. “It’s settled then.”

 

“It is.”

 

Hannibal winked at the man before he backed away to put their empty plates in the sink.

 

“Oh! Before we get interrupted again, what was it you wanted to say?”

 

Again, panic set into Lee’s mind. Was this the right time? He just got invited to a weekend getaway and dropping this bombshell now would ruin the trip for not just Lee, but for Hannibal. However, Lee also knew he shouldn’t keep this any longer.

 

“Lee?”

 

Before he could think of it, the words just flew out of his mouth.

 

“Were you a dancer? You have a great body, but you don’t seem the type to be running to the gym everyday.”

 

For some reason Hannibal felt like that wasn’t what Lee wanted to say but he humored him. “Actually, yes I was. It wasn’t anything professional. My aunt owned a studio and she made me join her class so I could lure more boys to her studio. Her logic was that if other boys saw another boy dancing in a show surrounded by pretty girls, they’d want to join as well so they could be surrounded by pretty girls. Little did she know, the boys that did join because of me weren’t interested in the girls…”

 

They laughed at Hannibal’s memory and in his mind, Lee promised himself to tell Hannibal as soon as they get back from the conference.

  
  


***

  
  


“ _Mmh_ , I miss being home; the mess hall at school does not come close to your home cooked meals Papa.” Abigail said as she stuffed her mouth with pasta carbonara. She was home for the weekend and was not going to leave until she was stuffed to the brim with her father’s home cooking.

 

“I’ve had many of your father’s meals and they are absolutely _delicious_ ,” Lee agreed.

 

“Oh, so you’ve had _many_ of my father’s meals huh? I'm sure his meals aren't the only thing you think are delicious” she inquired, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

 

“Abigail…” Hannibal chided.

 

“What Papa?” I’m twenty years old now. I know that you have sex, and by that huge smile you’re sporting when you two make eye contact, I take it’s very good sex,” she said, biting down on her fork to hide a smirk.

 

Hannibal could feel the flush spread over his cheeks and race up the back of his neck. “Abigail - “

 

“Well hold on, she’s not wrong,” Lee cut in then turned to the girl. “Your father’s cock is _amazing_ -”

 

“Woah, woah, woah, all I wanted to do was make a point that I’m aware that my father still has sex. What I _did not_ want to do is hear about my father’s penis!” Abigail closed her eyes and winced in discomfort, but her demeanor was still playful.

 

“Oh why not? You should be proud that your dad has a magic wand in his pants. It just squirts its magic all around, here, there, everywhere!” Lee said as he moved his hands theatrically.

 

They all burst out into a fit of laughter rumbling from their bellies.

 

Taking a break from the laughter, Abigail spoke. “Ugh, now that I have that terrible image in my mind, may I please excuse myself to wash my mind with bleach?”

 

Hannibal grinned. “Mind bleaching can wait, I’ve prepared your favorite dessert.” Hannibal excused himself from the table and returned with a silver cake stand. He removed the dome with a flourish, revealing a beautifully decorated chocolate cake.

 

Abigail’s eyes widened and she turned to her father. “Oh my goodness, Grandpa Jake gave you his recipe?”

 

“He sure did...after he made me get on my knees and beg for it,” Hannibal’s tone was playful but Abigail knew it was something Grandpa Jake would do.

 

“Who’s Grandpa Jake?”

 

“He’s Garret’s father,” Hannibal answered. “He’s a terrible cook, but there’s one thing he can do and it’s this chocolate cake. He calls it his _Holy Shit Cake_.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

Abigail chimed in. “Because when you eat it for the first time you yell out ‘holy shit’ because it’s _that good_.”

 

“Here.” Hannibal took a knife and cut a piece for everyone. Abigail and Hannibal waited for Lee to take his first bite.

 

Lee took the side of his fork and sunk it into the cake, making sure to get some chocolate frosting as well. He lifted the fork to his mouth and -

 

“ _Holy shit!_ ”

 

“Told you!” Abigail exclaimed.

 

“This is some witchcraft. There is no way a cake can taste this good.” Lee dug his fork into the cake again for another bite and the sound he made was damn near orgasmic.

  
  


***

  


“She likes you.” Hannibal said as he folded his trousers and hung them in the walk-in closet. They were getting ready for bed

 

“You think?”

 

“I know. She hasn’t laughed that hard in a long time.”

 

To be quite honest, Lee enjoyed sitting around the table with Hannibal and Abigail. It all felt real for a moment, as if he were part of their family. He felt at home.

 

_Home_.

 

He liked the sound of that.

 

“Well, I’m glad that I was able to be good company.”

 

“You’re always good company,” Hannibal said, giving Lee a peck on the cheek and then a peck on the lips. Lee caught Hannibal by the chin, holding him there to prolong the kiss.

 

Hannibal smiled. “Goodnight.”

 

“Night.”

 

***

 

Any other time, Lee would be more than happy to be wrapped up in Hannibal’s arms, dozing off into dreamland but tonight he couldn’t catch one wink of sleep. He lied there staring at the clock, watching as the minutes turned to hours until it read 2:29 am. He couldn’t take it anymore; he needed to get up and do something to occupy his mind. Maybe a light stroll around the house might tire him out a bit.

 

Lee lifted Hannibal’s arm from around him as gently as possible, sure not to wake him. The older man shifted in his sleep once Lee got up and he was afraid he’d woken him, but Hannibal soon settled back down into his slumber. Lee pulled on his sweatpants and t-shirt, then made his way to the kitchen.

 

He walked around the island and remembered there was still cake left. _Hmmm…_

 

Lee opened up a cabinet and carefully pulled out a small plate then took off the dome of the cake stand, making sure not to create any sounds. He reached into a drawer, pulling out a knife and leaned in toward the cake. The chocolatey smell still radiated from the pastry. Right as the knife made contact with the spongy body of the cake Lee heard a low voice in the darkness.

 

“The cake was calling your name too, huh?”

 

Lee looked up, startled, meeting eyes with Abigail. “Hehe, uh, yeah...had to come back for _thirds_.”

 

Abigail was wearing a black oversized t-shirt with “University of Maryland” across the chest in red lettering and grey shorts, her hair in a messy bun. Her feet tapped lightly as she made her way over to Lee. She leaned forward on the counter.

 

“Wanna share a piece?” she asked.

 

“Sure.”

 

Lee cut them a nice slice and placed the dome back on the stand before reaching in another drawer, pulling out two forks. They dug in and the cake was just as good as it was at dinner.

 

“Were you just up because of the cake or was something else on your mind?” Lee asked.

 

Abigail smoothed her lips over the silver tines of the fork, letting the frosting dissolve on her tongue. She pulled her mouth to the side before speaking. “The cake mostly - but I was up anyway; my body’s been running on ‘college student time’. Poor thing doesn’t know what a break is. Late nights doing homework, studying, and working have my circadian rhythm all kinds of jacked up.”

 

Lee raised a nostalgic brow. “Yeah I feel you, college can be a kick in the pants, but you seem to be handling it well.”

 

“That’s because I am,” she said matter-of-factly before stuffing another bite of cake into her mouth. She was cocky, but not in an off putting way. In a way that she was sure of her capabilities and she wasn’t afraid to let you know them. Very much like Hannibal. Lee smiled at that.

 

“You’re not just working hard I hope? There’s got to be some fun sprinkled in.”

 

Abigail smiled. “I’ve been to a few parties…”

 

“Attagirl. You seem very interested in your father’s romantic life. How about you, any special people in your life?”

 

“Well, I am interested in this one guy, but everytime I’m around him I turn into a babbling idiot. Fortunately, I haven’t scared him off with my ramblings so that must mean he’s somewhat interested. Right?”

 

“Of course! But you know what will _really_ get his attention?” Lee said as he leaned in.

 

Abigail leaned in as well. “What?”

 

“Piss on his dad’s grave.”

 

They burst into a fit a laughter and Abigail had to cover her mouth to keep from being too loud.

 

“You know what Lee? You’re all right.”

 

“Thank you, I try to be.”

 

“I mean it. When my Dad first told me about you, I told him to break things off.”

 

Lee feigned offense. “Harsh.”

 

“You pissed on my Father’s grave; I thought you were crazy. But then he just kept talking about how happy you made him feel and now I got to see you guys up close… I haven’t seen him like that in a long time. So, thanks for being a cool guy.”

 

“You’re welcome Abigail.”

 

She smiled warmly at him and they finished their slice of cake in comfortable silence. When the dessert had been devoured and nothing but miniscule crumbs remained on the plate, Lee took the dish and their forks and placed them in the sink to wash.

 

“I’ll wash these. You should get to bed.”

 

“Thanks Lee. Goodnight, er, good _morning_.” Abigail gave a low laugh and padded her way back to her room.

 

As Lee washed, he let the water run hot over his hands. He flinched when the water reached scalding. Immediately, he pulled away and turned off the faucet. He wanted to see if he could feel pain, hoping he was in a dream. A nightmare perhaps. He hoped he could wake up to a world where he didn’t have this thing inside him, mutating and invading his body. But alas, he wasn’t dreaming. He’d felt the hot pinch of the water as it hit his hand, but it didn’t just stop at the surface, it felt like it melted through his skin, muscle, and bone. It was real. And so was the weight that was deep in his gut. He felt terrible keeping his cancer from Hannibal, but it was always the wrong time.

 

“Soon,” he said to himself. “Soon.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it :D

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! :D


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